


Memories Long Forgotten

by McReber



Series: New Life, Creating New Memories [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-07
Updated: 2013-05-07
Packaged: 2017-12-10 16:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McReber/pseuds/McReber
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ruby doesn't want to accept the fact that the Belle she knew, the one so pure of heart and kind, has lost all of her memories.  She wants to find a way to bring her back, she really does.  If it wasn't for the fact that she's lost faith in herself.  Part one in a series of one shots.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories Long Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> This was being written over a time span of two months. Literally, for 3000 words it took me forever to write. This is the first in a series of one shots I plan on doing, that lead up to the story line at the end of season two. I'm a little nervous posting it, I haven't written anything in years. But, I needed a Red Beauty fix. So, hopefully you enjoy.

They find her on the side of the road in the middle of the night. Her body is curled up into a ball, with only a long black coat covering her tiny frame. Beside her, Mr. Gold is knelt, one hand in a tight grip on her shoulder so painfully that his knuckles have started to turn white. The other hand covers his eyes, a few silent tears drip through the opening of his fingers. 

Ruby smells blood the moment they pull up in the police car, and before David can yell at her to stop, she’s opening the door and throwing her body out just as David and Snow pull the car to a screeching halt beside the town sign. She barely hears them call her name as she rushes towards Belle’s unmoving body, by passing Hook on the way. She barely throws him a glance. Even though he’s battered and broken, her worry for her best friend surpasses all of that at the moment.

As she reaches Belle, Mr. Gold looks up removes the hand over his eyes and looks up at her, his bottom lip quivering. It takes every bone in her body not to shove him aside, and instead she just falls to her knees on the other side of Belle. Careful hands run over the girl’s body, looking for the source of the smell of blood. She’s answered when her hands come back red, a barely noticeable, tiny bullet hole in Belle’s right shoulder. As soon as her fingers find the wound, Belle lets out a soft cry and shrivels back in an attempt to roll over, and Mr. Gold catches her by both upper arms in order to keep her on her stomach. 

“Belle, Belle, it’s okay it’s me, Ruby.” The Brunette jumps over Belle's legs to where Mr. Gold is sat so that Belle can see her face more clearly. When frightened eyes meet hers, Ruby immediately feels that something isn't right.

“Why does everyone keep calling me Belle?” It comes out as a breathless, panicked cry and Ruby feels her body jolt backwards in shock.  
Before she can question anything, Mr. Gold’s broken voice reaches her.

“She doesn't remember.”

He says it so softly that she’s almost sure she heard him wrong. She wants to almost believe that she heard him wrong. But she knows that with her wolf senses more heightened at Wolfstime, that there is no possible way she misheard. 

“What do you mean she doesn't remember?” It comes out as a snarl as she whips her head around to meet his eyes.

“She…” it takes him a moment to recover as he silently breaks down again. “She crossed the line, Ruby.”

That’s all Ruby needs to hear, and she quickly surveys the scene with a dart of her eyes. Little details start to come together in her mind, like Belle’s body being only a couple feet away from the line that Mr. Gold had drawn earlier, the little drops of blood that led from where Belle is situated, to the outer town limits. And it comes together in such a crashing force that Ruby falls back onto her bottom, her breath suddenly too hard to catch. Her eyes lock with Gold, tears staining his cheeks. 

And she feels herself snap.

She's on top of Gold before anyone in the general area can realize it, and she crashes into his chest and knocks them both to the ground. Belle scoots farther away with a loud shriek as Ruby's fists come down on the older man's face. Her knuckles split open with the force, and she almost takes pride in feeling his nose break with a loud crunch under her fist. But all she can think about is the man underneath her, no, the monster. The monster who put Belle in danger in the first place. The monster who cared only about himself. And with each raging thought that goes through her head, another powerful punch dives towards Gold.

Someone grasps both her shoulders and tugs her back so harshly that she loses her balance and falls into them. She's turned around before she can see the damage that she caused and she briefly sees Charming on the other side of her, helping Gold up. And then she's met with dark brown eyes.

Snow.

She almost expects her best friend to be looking at her with disappointment, anger or disgust. But instead, Snow's brown eyes look upon her with such compassion and sympathy that it makes Ruby nauseous when she realizes everything that she just did. And in front of Belle.

Belle.

She twists around, her strength overpowering Snow's tight grip on her shoulders, and her heart drops at the sight before them.

Emma's moved from Hook to Belle, strong arms holding the petite girl down. She's calling the paramedics over, her face set in grim determination. A few men Ruby doesn't recognize run over, one holding a long syringe. As Emma holds Belle down, the paramedic slips the end of it into Belle's shoulder, and the woman falls into unconsciousness, protests lost on her lips. 

As they heave her onto the stretcher, Ruby starts to run over, ignoring Snow's protests. As she nears the ambulance, Emma turns around, her hands forcefully pushing against Ruby's chest, shoving her back in surprise. Her face must have shown confusion, because Emma lets out a bitter laugh and shakes her head.

“After that, you think I'm letting you anywhere near her?” Ruby starts to defend herself, starts to tell her that she's Belle's best friend, but Emma won't have any of it. “She doesn't know who she is, Ruby, which means she doesn't know who you or Gold are. And that little show you put on in front of her, scared her so much we had to sedate her!” Emma slams the ambulance door shut when the paramedic gives her the go ahead. The siren turns off, but the lights still flash as the ambulance starts off down the gravel road.

She's watching it drive away when Emma sighs softly beside her. “Go home, Ruby. Get some sleep, and we'll all talk about it tomorrow, okay?” 

Ruby wants more than anything to tell her off, to not tell her what to do. She's known Belle longer, why shouldn't she be there when they admit her? But she feels an unexplained rush of rage boil in her blood and she has to force her fists close to her sides to keep from hitting the Sheriff. The only solution she can think of is the simplest. She starts towards the woods, and Emma runs in front of her, hands far away enough as a warning.

“Whoa, where do you think you're going?”

This time Ruby can't control herself and she lunges out, shoving Emma sideways with such power that it sends her to her knees. “Stay away from me, Emma,” Ruby warns, her voice cracking enough to show an apology.

Emma starts to get up, but Snow is right by her side, holding her down. She's whispering something into her daughter's ear, but Ruby doesn't stay long enough to try and hear it. Her bones are already cracking into place as she takes off into a jog towards the edge of the woods. 

By the time she reaches the trees, Ruby is gone and the wolf has taken over. 

She wakes up hours later, when the sun is just beginning to rise in the sky, to the scents of the forest. Her body is nestled in a pile of branches and leaves, a makeshift bed that is the best a wolf could manage. A rank smell wafts into her nostrils and she twists her body around to find a rabbit carcass, half eaten and discarded a few feet away. She feels herself gag and immediately loses whatever she had eaten last night in her temporary bed.

She's in the middle of wiping her mouth off her shirt when her hearing picks up on footsteps crunching in the leaves, and with speed that only a werewolf could manage, she leaps off her feet and takes cover behind the nearest tree. Her body fully behind it, she dares to peek her face out a little to see the intruder.

“Red?”

Ruby's body relaxes at the soft melodic voice, and she steps out from behind the tree to face Snow. She crosses her arms over her chest, her jaw clenching as she responds between tight lips. “You know I don't like to be called that anymore.” It comes out more harsher than she wanted it to, and she knows it when Snow's eyes glaze over with a quick sadness that Ruby can see over the broad smile planted on her face.

“Sorry, old habits die hard,” Snow dismisses with a quick wave of her hand, and when her eyes fall to the dead rabbit on the ground, Ruby feels her cheeks heat with shame. She's quick to go over and kick it underneath a few stray leaves, hiding a fraction of it.

“What are you doing here?” She keeps her back turned to Snow, her eyes fixed on the ground. She hears Snow sigh softly, before soft footsteps make their way to her. Ruby turns her head to look over her shoulder, an eyebrow raising in a silent warning to not come any closer. She knows Snow will get it. She always did. They knew each other well enough to comprehend silent feelings and thoughts. 

Snow takes the warning and stops. “I wanted to see if you were alright. You ran off in quite a rage last night.”

“I'm fine. I can take care of myself.” She's short tempered, snapping too easily and Ruby wants to leave before she says anything she'll regret. But she knows Snow won't let her go that easily. 

“I know you can. But I'm your friend, Ruby.” She takes a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. “I know what you're feeling.”

Ruby suddenly pivots around, lips curling up into a snide sneer. “You know what I feel, Snow? Nothing but rage.” She doesn't realize it but she moves closer to Snow in a split second, and it startles Snow back a few inches. 

“All I want to do is rip Gold's heart out for getting Belle into that situation, for being with her in the first place! Belle is too damn stubborn for her own good to realize when someone is a lost cause!” Tears burn at the corners of her eyes, though she doesn't want to lift a hand to wipe them away.

“She may be stubborn, Ruby, but her heart is the purest of us all. Even mine.” Snow takes a seat on a piece on big log, and stretches her legs out in front of her with a contented moan. “You were always the first to defend her heart, I remember. You always used to tell me that she saw nothing but good in everyone, even you.”

Ruby's chest tightens at the memory of her words, her breath catching in her throat. “And look what good it got her. Now she's not even her anymore, Snow. She won't be Belle, she won't have the same heart because she won't have the same memories. She'll never be Gold's again and she'll never be-”

“Yours?” 

Ruby stiffens slightly. “I was going to say herself,” she finishes lamely, scuffing slightly at a pack of mud on the ground with the toe of her shoe. 

“I'm not stupid Ruby, and I really wish you would have come talk to me instead of carrying this burden.” 

“What burden?” She'll play it stupid, though she knows it's useless.

Snow's eyes trail up and down Ruby's body for a few seconds, making her uncomfortable and she shifts under her gaze. 

“You love her, and you were too afraid to admit it, and now you never can.”

She won't fight it. Snow's right, and she knows she is. 

And Ruby is tired of fighting it.

It takes her longer than she'd like to admit to finally come visit the hospital, a basket of goodies in her hand that Granny insisted that she take. Her footsteps feel heavy, each step a burden as she approaches the nurses desk. The woman hardly looks up at her, spares one uninterested glance at Ruby and asks what she wants, in a tone that Ruby doesn't think she likes. 

She tries to keep her own tone under control as she asks for Belle, and the nurse points lazily in the direction of what looks like a lounge. Ruby snaps out a sarcastic thank you and heads that way. A man runs into her along the way, and Ruby's grip on the basket nearly fails, but her fast reflexes have her grabbing the basket before it can reach the floor.

“Nice catch.”

Ruby straightens herself up to meet a face that looks too familiar. Greg. The man that caused all of this by coming into Storybrooke. She feels a growl erupt from her throat, and is quick to cover the sound with a cough.

“You better watch out who you run into, Mr. Mendell.” 

Greg chuckles softly before coming in close, his mouth close enough to her ear to make her want to step back. 

“Actually, Ms. Lucas. I think in this town, it should be the other way around.” His warm breath is off her, and he's gone before she even realizes it. 

She turns to look for him, but is immediately met with Dr. Whale, who is actually looking at her like a human for once, and not a piece of meat. But it's no time to be impressed, and she starts to ask about Belle.

“She's doing well, actually,” he answers casually. “She's reacted positively to our tests, and though her memory seems to be completely wiped, we've taken care of her anxiety.” He must see Ruby's mouth open to protest, because he's quick to say, “With a low dose of Lorazepam, just enough to help her sleep.”  
Ruby holds up the basket and asks, “Can I see her?”

Whale seems to stall for a second, she sees it in the way his lips draw back into an almost disapproving frown. “Gold has been visiting a lot lately, almost everyday. He's ordered us to not to allow anyone else in to see her.” He takes a deep breath, pulls his hands out of his white jacket and holds them out in front of him. “With that said, please, go and see her. It's a small wonder the man hasn't frightened her off yet.” 

“Thank you, Victor.” 

“Just don't tell anyone I let you in.” He's smiling, but she knows he's scared of Gold finding out.

“Monster to Monster, I won't say anything.” She throws him a wink before rushing into the room.

Belle's sitting cross-legged on the ratty couch when she walks in, her eyes glued to the TV screen, and an unknown movie playing on screen. Ruby slips in, beside her side vision and reaches for the remote. She twirls it in her hands as Belle notices the visitor, her legs slowly uncrossing. She puts them up on the couch, folding them in on herself, a sort of protective defense.

“Hey.” It's lame, and it's short but it's the only thing Ruby can think of at the moment. 

Belle's widened eyes look over her for a few seconds, wary and cautious. “Hi.” 

With one motion, Ruby shuts off the TV and takes a seat on the further part of the couch, as to not scare Belle too much. “You remember me at all?” 

“You were there the night I got shot.” She brings her legs closer to her chest. “You attacked Mr. Gold.” 

“I'm sorry you had to see that as a first new memory.” Ruby lowers her head, feeling a rush of shame turn her cheeks red.

“Why did you attack him like that?” Belle's voice wavers a little, and she clears her throat, her head cocking to the side in curiosity. 

Ruby can't force herself to meet Belle's eyes, so she instead chooses to reach for the forgotten basket at her side. She opens the lid and starts bringing stuff out, piling it on the table beside them. As she pulls out a paperback novel, one that Belle had read to her what seemed like a long time ago, she feels the burn of tears and tosses the novel on the table.

“Because he got you into a situation that I couldn't control. That I couldn't have prevented.” 

“He told me a man named Killian was the reason I lost my memory. The reason I got shot.” She winces at the memory, a hand moving to rub her healed shoulder. 

“He was. But Gold was the reason Hook, I mean, Killian was after you in the first place. He's a horrible man.”

“He's been nothing but kind to me,” Belle snaps back, but her voice isn't harsh, more defensive. And Ruby knows it's only because Gold has been the only constant presence in her new life. 

“I'm sorry. You're right, he's been nothing but nice to you.” She has to literally bite her tongue to stop herself from letting loose of all the things she really feels. “I just want to make sure you're careful. You shouldn't be so quick to trust.”

“Do you expect me to trust you right away?” 

“Of course not,” Ruby replies, and slides a bit closer. “I'm just saying that I want to make sure you're safe.”

“I am safe. With Mr. Gold. I don't know you, whoever you are.” Belle's legs fall to the floor and she stands up quickly, Ruby following suit. “Mr. Gold is the only one who's been here everyday to check on me, he's been nothing but patient. And if you really are who you said you were, my friend, why haven't you been here. When I needed you the most?”  
The words feel like a slap against Ruby's cheek and she steps back, feeling a single tear fall from the corner of her eye. “I wanted to be.” She finishes lamely, looking down at the ground.

“I think you should leave.”

Ruby's head shoots up and she steps forward, but Belle moves back just as fast. “Belle, please, I just want you to get to know me again.”

“I'm not this Belle that everyone keeps calling me. Please, stop calling me that!” She pounds her fists against her thighs in frustration. “Just go!” When Ruby doesn't make a move, she rushes forward, her hands pushing against Ruby's shoulders, forcing her a few steps backward. “Now!”

“Is there a problem here, Ms. Lucas?” Whale steps in between them, holding a hand out to separate the two.

Belle points furiously at Ruby. “I want her gone.” 

Whale clenches his jaw, and looks down before nodding. He goes to grab at Ruby's arm, but Ruby thrashes it back. 

“Don't touch me,” she growls, and her eyes make their way to Belle's. “Please don't do this.” 

“We need to go now, Ruby,” Whale insists. He grabs at her arm again and pulls her close enough that she can smell the slight hint of his cologne. “Don't make me call the guards,” he whispers furiously, pulling at her arm again in a warning.

“Don't bother,” Ruby sighs. She shakes loose of his grip, twirls on her heels and rushes out. She knows Whale is following behind her, waiting for an explanation, and she speeds to a full out run. She's out of the hospital and rushing down the road, trying to drown out the words Belle had spoken so viciously to her just moments ago.  
She makes it halfway home before she breaks down on the side of the road.

The next time she sees Belle, she comes into the diner to have dinner with Gold, and Ruby feels the pain like rubbing salt on an open wound. Granny orders her to go take their order, and Ruby wants more than anything to put up a fight. But when Granny threatens to fire her, Ruby grabs the notepad and heads to the table, trying to fight the urge to throw up.

Gold greets her with his usual sneer that he saves for everyone except Belle. “Good evening, Ms. Lucas.” 

“Hey,” she greets shortly. “What can I get you guys?” She's purposely avoiding meeting Belle's eyes, and she doesn't have to look at the woman to know that she's doing the exact same. Her skin is crawling just being in the same presence of Gold, and she really just wants to crawl into a hole and never come out.  
“Our usual, please, darling. Two hamburgers and iced teas.” He shifts in his seat, and raises an eyebrow. “And if you could tell the chef to cook them a bit extra longer, we like our burgers overdone a little.”

“I always thought Belle liked her burgers more medium rare.” She mutters, writing the order sloppily on the pad. Both Gold and Belle look up her her, Gold's eyes squinted and Belle's wide.

“I don't think that's a concern of yours, how she likes, or doesn't like her meat, Ruby. Now, service around this time gets a little slow, so if you could go put our order in, we'd both appreciate it.” Without another word, he shoos her away with a wave of his hand.

As Ruby passes the chef station, she throws the order on the table and rushes outside, throwing a quick line at Granny about needing a break. When she's outside in the cool, fresh air, she falls back against the wall, releasing a deep breath she didn't know she had been holding. 

“That looked rough.”

Ruby had heard the footsteps approaching, so she wasn't so startled by the voice. “Mary Margaret, I'm starting to think you're following me.”

“Just out to dinner with David. I'm sorry.” Snow leans on the wall next to her, looking her best friend up and down with those warm eyes full of concern.

“It's been a month, Snow. A month to this day since Belle-” She can't bring herself to finish it as a small lump intrudes her throat and she has to cough to release it. “And now everyday, I have to see her with him, the same man who was part of it all. And he gets away with it because he can put on a charming smile and win her over.” She twists around suddenly and throws a punch at the wall. And another. And one more, until she feels a knuckle split open. 

" Ruby!,” Snow exclaims, grabbing her hand and holding it up to inspect.

“It'll heal. It's wolfstime.” She pulls her hand back gently and lets it fall to her side. 

“Talk to me, Ruby.” 

“There is nothing more to talk about. Belle is gone. Forever perhaps. And there is nothing I can do about it.” She feels the tears falling now, and she wants to feel embarrassed. “When will I get my happy ending, Snow? When?” her voice breaks at the end and she lets a sob escape.

Snow pulls her into a hug, strong arms curling around her shoulders. “I don't know when, Ruby, but I can tell you that you will find your happy ending. I swear it. Belle won't be like this forever. You two will find each other again.”

Ruby breaks down in Snow's arms, not knowing how much time passes before David comes out to look for them. She barely hears their murmured conversation over her cries, and she feels Snow and David both lift her up in their arms, supporting her. As they walk her to their truck, she hears Snow repeating the same words over and over again.

“You're not alone, Ruby.”

And Ruby wants to believe her. But she can't.

She won't let that kind of hope live in her heart, knowing that it will ultimately end in nothing but heartbreak. 

Belle will never come back.

And Ruby will never accept it.


End file.
